Saturday, September 03, 2005

"if dreams are like movies, then memories are pictures of ghosts"

God i'm lonley tonight.
for a few hours i felt the opposite of lonely. wanted.

and then the moment passed and it left me sore.
like a wound that's pain has dulled whose bandage is removed.
fresh blood flows.
i suppose it's part healing process part agrivation.
the pain brings shadows of my past pushing and shoving past each other to the screen my memory plays in my mind.

when did i become so afraid of being alone?
so strong, so independant, without need....

that girl is gone.

walk away girl.
don't let it feel you girl.
pretend you want it this way.
say something sarcastic, you'll feel better.

in a moment i'll erase the memory of wanted and lonley will just feel like normal, or it won't feel but it will be normal.

however for this moment, because today was a heavy blow, i'll take a pause to wash my pain in sighs.

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