slipping into something comfortable

tea is my new nightly ritual, reaching into the Celestial Seasonings sampler box without looking gives the experience a sense of spontaneity

ryan adams is my most consistent companion of late, with him i don't have to talk
i like just listening, contrary to popular belief most days i'd rather just listen

my office makes me restless, i'm convinced it's the fluorescent lights
counting the hours at work is a recent development i'm trying to remedy, i feel like i'm back in high school marking off the days until summer break

gratitude has become an almost tangible emotion, there are those I can touch who are blessings to me by their very nature
i don't often feel strongly, this is a happy addition

of all the longings within me that I am aware of there is one that I would not have expected of myself - the desire for cold, crisp air and rain that comes around more often than not
some years summer can't be long enough, this is not that year

autumn, this year it carries a sense of anticipation and relief that I can't quite explain
hot drinks, i miss cappuccinos served with a saucer, a small spoon and a stick shaped packet of sugar
sweaters, every day i could wear a hoodie with its generally to small to be used hood and its comforting front pocket
blankets, i love that cool air means falling asleep every night under the comforting weight of wool and down and cotton all atop each other

it's like being at that moment on the edge of sleep, anticipating the dreams that will come and yet content to lie still and let the day slip away first
the transition from season to season happens a little more often for me than some
each shifting and juxtaposition of normal and new feels and looks different than the last

this time, for whatever reason, it feels like slipping into something comfortable

to my future self

don't be lazy.
don't be inspired without doing something about it.
don't be afraid of failure.
keep a loose grip on the things you think are important.
keep writing down the things you get passionate about.
don't make choices unless they direct you toward those things.
recognize the difference between cautious wisdom and controlling fear.
write songs to teach.
make space in your life (or iPod) for new music.
make space in your heart for new people.
grieve when you need to.
remember that you have something to offer.
take care of you, make time to be alone.
don't let anticipation steal your now.
take every opportunity to learn new languages, explore new art, meet new people and to get more stamps in your passport.
finish a song every once in a while, even if you don't like the result.
pray out loud when no one is listening.
remember that your decision to be selfish effects lives.
raise awareness.
find an outlet for extravagent love.
be kind.
smile, alot.
take pictures of people you love.
call your dad for no reason.
get up early sometimes.
sleep all day sometimes.
do something nice for no reason to someone you don't know well.
ask God for opportunities to be prophetic.
seek outlets for creativity in new forms.
paint.
laugh.
turn off your phone.
be in love and not scared.
pray for your husband, even if you haven't met.
have lunch with your grandmother.
be early, often.
be happy all by yourself.
send birthday and christmas cards.
work out.
walk somewhere instead of driving.
drop everything to listen to the rain.