as is common to my blogging habits I am currently in a coffee shop with a project to get done that i'm either uniterested in or uninspired to begin. today it's the starbucks in Keystone and my Winter newsletter. (in other news, my left pinky toe has fallen asleep, weird.)
there are muscles in my body that are sore today whose existance I had previously taken for granted. I have not, in the past, been a person inclined to trying new things which I'm not confident I'll succeed at. However, yesterday my determination to change that about myself took a good step forward. I stepped all the way out of my comfort zone and where did I find myself? Well, the bunny hill to start out.
After having lived all but a few months of my life in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains I am finally taking the time to enjoy them! I skiied for the first time in eight years over Christmas break, but I've been wanting to learn to snow board for a few years now and I've finally gotten around to it. Part of the reason it took me so long was my above mentioned aversion to failure and pain. Natural instinct, you might think, but not the type of things I want determining my experiences.
Choice is the core substance of any experience and this approach has changed, for me, just about everything. Confidence, in this case, was not something I felt, but something I chose and I believe it made all the difference. Rather than approaching the situation fearing failure, I no longer aknowledged failure as an option. The resulting determination created by this approach of success as the only is clear option in my mind as every sore muscle and bruised joint remind me today.
I am not any sort of snowboarding prodigy or even probably a case of 'natural talent', but I made it down that mountain and I was better at the bottom than I was at the top. I am on a path to learning and improving. Confidence made a huge difference, but it wasn't alone in the equasion of improvement. I made it through the day not without a lot of patience, good teaching and the lent confidence of good friends when my own was waning. This is step one.
Step two will be if I can again muster confidence and determination to again subject myself to the whiplash, whitewash, breath losing, butt bruising experience for a second time, believe again I'll be better at the bottom of the run than when I begin at the top. That can be determined tomorrow.
The significance of the experience, learning to ride, is not nearly as important as the process of actually participating in the process. There have been so many times in the past where fear of failure and pain have stopped me, or caused me to go around, find another way, etc. in my life...and that is not the way I want to spend my days living. While i'm excited about this new skill I'm aquiring, it's really not about snowboarding at all, it's about trying new things and not being afraid, even though it does hurt...it can be worth it.
